Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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