..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
