YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
