I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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