have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
