Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
