that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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