ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize