you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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