let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
