he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
