guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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