Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
