That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize