my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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