And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
