Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
