We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
