my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
