i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
