In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
