Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
