lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize