god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he's gonorrhea incarnate
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
