There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
