That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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