no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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