i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
