i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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