question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
