before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
