god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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