he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
