Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize