i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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