Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
