just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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