I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
