Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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