the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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