You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
