just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
