Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
