I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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