I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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