what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
