I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
