just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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