I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
