Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
