I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
