So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
