I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize