Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
