lets start a swedish sibling band together
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
