brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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