I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
