i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize