Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
