This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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