when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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