my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
