Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
