it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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