I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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